Fate is an interesting thing. At times we cannot avoid its indomitable sway. Resistance in these circumstances is totally futile. One must simply accept the overwhelming forces of destiny. AMOR FATI.
And so the fates had contrived to place me in, of all locations, Hull and in search of food. Cedric’s colossal conk, always primed and ready to sniff out the very best eateries, was true to form, and had already hunted down a suitable solution to suggest.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, I do not wish to suggest an air of superiority, but when I discovered the name of the place in question was “Dope Burger”, I must say I did have my doubts. But Cedric insisted that this was a place he held in highest esteem. And when a man with a proboscis quite as impressively large as Cedric’s insists, one is wise to follow.
When I finally showed up at the old locale I must say my doubts only deepened. The place was windowless. I think that windows are a useful addition to buildings. They provide air and light. When they are absent, these qualities are also absent. I would conjecture, and I dare say the more archaeologically astute of Cedric’s readers will confirm, that windows are probably as old as buildings themselves. They go together like ham and eggs; love and poetry. So this was not a good start.
Furthermore, the walls were graffitied with grotesque creatures. Why? Does this enhance the food? Is it designed to create an appealing atmosphere? Is it meant to be amusing perhaps? I cannot say that I was amused. But then I must remember that all these things are a matter of taste. It could be that many of Cedric’s readers are sorts of people who enjoy eating in a windowless shack on the edge of Hull, surrounded by sinister looking spectres. Or if all else fails there is the option of takeaway.
Anyway, onto the food. This was excellent. I ordered a cheeseburger with fries. The fries were well salted and coated in a light dusting of paprika. Very good, this was definitely compensating for the hideous hideout on the edge of outer darkness that I found myself in. The Cheeseburger was very good as well. The meat was succulent and the cheese was oosingly satisfying.
In the end it was a tale of two experiences. In terms of the environs I was horrified, in terms of the food delighted. Perhaps, dear reader, you will tell a different tale, should you visit.