Have you ever been so angry, so bilious with ire that the only way to console you is cooking? I didn’t think such a state of perfect puerile vexation existed until Wednesday last. That was when I made this phenomenal Ragù. It tasted quite phenomenal, so terrific in fact that I felt the need to share it with you, loyal readers, so that you might delight in its calming properties.


  • 6 porc sausages (I used Neapolitan chilli sausages from A Di Maria)
  • 200g mushrooms chopped finely
  • 4 carrots, peeled and chopped finely
  • 3 celery sticks chopped finely
  • one finely chopped onion
  • 2 garlic cloves (chopped… wait for it… finely!)
  • 500ml excellent quality passata
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 500g pasta of your choice (I used gnocchi)
  • Grated pecorino Romano

The first and most off-putting thing you must do is peel off the skin from the saucies. You’ll want to tear them into little pieces with your bare hands. Then combine the mushrooms; carrots; celery; onion and garlic in a pan with some olive oil. Cook them until the onions are translucent.

At this point, add the saucies. Fry them in the same pan for a few minutes. Add some white wine here, if you so desire. Whichever way the pendulum of your fickle taste buds swings, now is the time to add the passata. Season the passataed dish with salt and pepper. Cover for about 20 minutes on low heat.

In this trying time, you may want to do the washing up. I find these moments of waiting for food to cook are excellent for tidying. Watching The Good Place on Netflix, I was tremendously moved by Janet expostulating “These humans are on earth for 80 years and they spend most of their time waiting for things!” Not me!

Boil your pasta for however long the packaging says you should. Drain it once it is done.

Combine the drained pasta and some of the sauce. You will have more than enough sauce for about 1.5kg of pasta. Don’t throw it all into 500g or you will open yourself to the caustic ‘would you like some pasta with your sauce?’ question. There is nothing more heinous than comportment which facilitates such a remark.

Sprinkle your magical pecorino over the top of the dish and serve piping hot. Prepare to see waves of self-actualisation pouring over your guests as they feast on this revelatory dish. I like to think that no good can come of acts motivated by anger, but this day I was proven wrong.