Podcast: Just What is Satanism All About?
Some of you will find reading a terrible chore, so I’ve put together a podcast for your aural delectation.
Enjoy, and let me know what you’d like us to discuss next time!
Panzerottini
As a young and impressionable lad I frequented Ask! Italian restaurants where I would always order the cheesy doughballs as my starter. A kind waiter once explained to me that their ovens heated up to 300° C — hence their always slightly carbonised edges. So treat your guests to a culinary explosion of cheesy goodness readers, but try to restrain yourself from eating too many: they can expand one’s waistline!
Ingredients: -250g strong white bread flour -150ml lukewarm water -7g yeast -1tbs fine salt (though I prefer the whopping crystal salt) -2tbs olive oil -50g Gouda, diced (1/2 cm works best) -50g dry cured salami diced (1/2 cm works best) -chili flakes (however many you can handle)
Method: Mix the yeast with the lukewarm water. If it starts to foam then it’s being activated. In a separate bowl, mix the salt and flour. Make a well in the middle of the flour. Into this well, pour the yeasty now-tepid water. At first mix them together with a wooden spoon. When the dough comes together, flop it onto a floured surface and knead it for a minimum of 8 minutes.
Now, put it back into the bowl from whence it came. Cover in some olive-oiled Clingfilm and leave to prove for an hour and a half in a warm place.
When it has doubled in size, re-knead it on a floured surface. Split the dough into three. Now roll out each of these three dough pieces into a flat circle.
Oil the three circles. Slicing vertically, split the circles into six strips. Press the Gouda cubes into half of the dough strips. Press the salami cubes into the other half of the dough strips. This next step separates the men from the boys. Sprinkle as much chili as you or your guests can handle on the strips.
Roll the strips into balls and seal off any fraying edges. You don’t want your delicious cheese slipping out. Either oil the outside of the Panzerottini or put them on baking paper.
In a pre-heated oven at 220 degrees, bake them for 15 minutes or until they are golden brown. Be careful not to burn them. A lot of work has gone into this dish.
Tips: Set aside a good deal of time for this. Beauty does not come easily. It kneads time and patience. Make sure the water is lukewarm not steaming or seething hot. Be kind to the yeast if you want it to be kind to you.
Now what you could do as a prank is sprinkle all the chili onto one strip. Whoever starts screaming wins the prize. I shall leave it to host’s prerogative to decide what the prize is.
Serving suggestions A nice BBQ dip or light cream cheese compliments this dish wonderfully. But neither are necessary.
Strawberry & White Chocolate Cheesecake
You’ll need bowls to make this dish. In all seriousness, this will cause a mess of your kitchen.
This is a universally approved dish. Unless you’re a vegan or have been sectioned. Though these two are seldom exclusive of each other.
If you want to leave your guests reeling as though they have just seen the face of the Almighty, this is the dessert for you.
Ingredients:
-2 tablespoons gelatin powder (you can the vegan stuff these days, if you must)
-60ml cold water
-250g digestive biscuits
-6 tablespoons melted butter
-300g British strawberries, quartered
-50g sugar
-400ml double cream/whipping cream
-200g fine white chocolate
-150g double cream/whipping cream
Method:
I’ve spaced out the ingredients logically for your convenience. Bear with me and I shall explain why.
Firstly, combine the gelatin with the water and let set for five minutes, while you tend to the biscuits.
Break up the cookies and blend them in an electric blender. You could even wrap them in plastic and beat them senselessly with a rolling pin. Whatever gets your rocks off. In a bowl, combine this with the butter until they’re combined. Put this into a springform 10” baking tin. Make sure it is flat. You can do this with a pallet knife. Refrigerate while you deal with the strawberries.
In a saucepan, place the strawberries and sugar. Cook them on low heat until the sugar dissolves. Then use a hand blender to cream the mixture.
Set it aside to let it cool for a few minutes.
By this time, the gelatin should be solid. Add half of it to the strawberries. Make sure the strawberry puree isn’t too hot or the gelatin won’t work. I made a fool of myself at a funeral once for forgetting this. Don’t ask.
It is now time to whip your cream. It’s better to do all 400ml at once, unless you have the bowls to do it separately.
I prefer to use a balloon whisk to whip my cream. If you use an electric one for want of time, make sure you have an apron on. That stuff does not come out of cotton shirts easily.
Whip the cream until it forms stiff peaks.
Add half of this to the strawberries.
In a saucepan, heat up the 150ml cream. Don’t let it bubble, toil or trouble. When the cream is sufficiently hot, add the white chocolate. Stir together until the two ingredients become one.
Add the other half of the gelatin mixture to the chocolate. Then add the other half of the whipped cream mix.
Pour the white chocolate into the springform tin. Put it in the fridge until the chocolate is stiff enough to be covered with the strawberry mousse. This should take about 20 minutes. Ample time for you to wash your bowls.
When the white chocolate has set, cover it with the strawberry mouse.
Refrigerate overnight for optimal results.
Tips:
Usually recipes will tell you to put the strawberry mixture through a fine sieve to get rid of all the seeds. Being unusual, to say the least, I recommend you do not do so. The contrasting texture of the seeds against the smoothness of the white chocolate is highly desirable.
Serving suggestions
You could slice some extra strawberries lengthways and top the strawberry mousse with them, once it has set.
This is excellent with some gin whipped cream you can make this by mixing the double cream with a little bit of gin and lemon before whipping it. Though it may take a little while more.
In honesty, however, this dish is a masterpiece by itself.
A Di Maria & Sons – Italian Wholesalers
It is rare to see me aghast, but pulling into the yard of A Di Maria and Sons saw my jaw drop.
I’ve returned from perhaps my sixth visit to this wondrous place. An oasis in Coventry. This family run business has truly taken my breath away. From start to finish, this is more than a wholesaler, it is an experience. And a splendid one.
Based in Foleshill, North Coventry, this is the definitive place for those craving excellent value and quality of food. I’ve had the opportunity to speak to the Young Mr Di Maria (yes that is a reference to Are You Being Served); his son and his grandsons who all play an integral part in the running of A Di Maria and (grand)Son(s).
Pictured above is a still from the cheese side of the fridge. Scamorza; Parmesan; pecorino – to name a few which I have purchased and sampled. Let me tell you, the smell is intoxicating. But there is more.
The benefit and downfall of buying directly from the wholesaler is that the quantity in which you have to buy. Personally, I was overjoyed to have, after 6 months, 2.5kg of guanciale in my possession.
Originally, A Di Maria catered only for restaurants across the country. As I mentioned before, they only opened trade to the public recently. It is my daily hope that they will open a deli somewhere soon. Leamington would cater for their potential clientele.
For me, the advantages of this miraculous establishment are numerous.
- Location. Foleshill is North of Coventry which is 15 minutes from my home and 8 from the centre of Coventry.
- Variety. There is a warehouse filled with all sorts of the finest Italian food. Pasta; flour; tinned peeled tomatoes; a whole variety of alcohol; premium coffee; red wine vinegar – the list goes on. Anything you could possibly want.
- Quality. Di Maria is concerned with one thing and one thing only: getting you the best quality product. Everything I’ve bought in my numerous trips has been exquisite. The wine, the 25kg of 00 flour. The red wine vinegar which I used to caramelise red onions for some savoury muffins. Everything has been a great and immeasurable success.
- Price! I find it unspeakably crass to talk about money in many situations but it bears being mentioned. the greatest advantage of buying directly from the wholesaler is that you get wholesaler prices. I could do my monthly shop here for about £100. These two splendid bottles of wine cost me a mere £12 for two. Put yourself in Tesco looking at the pitiful selection of Italian wines. Each one at £6 or less is Tesco own brand.
Each time I step through that enormous warehouse entrance, I am taken aback and, I won’t lie, salivating.
But above all, I value great service. And A Di Maria exceed what one would expect. I am greeted by one of the Di Maria Trinity, as it were, and taken to the office for a divine espresso. The kind of espresso which you’d buy in Naples. The kind of espresso which makes you feel as though you are being pulled to heaven by your hair. They are always polite and courteous and patient with me while I deliberate over how much I am willing to spend on that particular day.
I cannot recommend A Di Maria enough. This is an oasis in a (not so barren) desert. If you profess to love food and quality but don’t have an enormous budget, this is the place for you.
Come one come all.
The Cotswolds Distillery
There are several ways to deal with great upset. One most commonly adopted is to drown one’s sorrows in whiskey. Others prefer leaving the house and taking a long drive.
Today, I found a way to combine the two. I drove almost an hour to get to my furthest Coventry Gem as of yet: The Cotswolds Distillery.
I had searched for the greatest town in the Warwickshire region. Shipston-on-Stour. I spoke about this to Alison, the generous girl who gave me a private tour of the distillery (on account of tours being booked completely until March). She joked about my having picked the best town in Warwickshire and immediately leaving it to go to Stourton, where the distillery is!
Jokes aside, this place is truly astonishing. If the reader should want to find more about the distillery process at The Cotswolds Distillery, they shall be able to find it on their website:
https://www.cotswoldsdistillery.com/about-us/the-process
This will save me spoiling the surprise for you. Alternatively, book a tour. They are £10 per person and include a cornucopia of samples. Namely, you’ll be able to taste their award winning gins and whiskeys. The Costwolds Distillery gin won best gin in the world 2016. Pictured below is a 500-litre Arnold Holstein copper gin still. It looks far more impressive in person.
I’m grateful to Alison for allowing me to take pictures and document the extraordinary process of making whiskey and gin. Their whiskey stills Janice and Mary made for an all the more entertaining tour. Just make sure your flash is off, and your phone is on flight mode. Any spark could cause the entire place to be engulfed in a fireball. Such is the volume of fumes.
When one is done with the distillery, they can go to the shop which sells not only their award winning spirits but also a selection of local jams and chutneys made using their produce. I made a point of buying some fenel whiskey chutney as I have just run out of my spiced apple chutney from Mr Norbury.
The surrounding area’s beauty is awe inspiring. I almost crashed on the way in several times because I was admiring the surroundings of the Distillery. Sadly, being a staunch stickler to the highway code, I was not able to stop midway everytime I saw something pretty. And by the time I had had my fill, it was too dark to capture anything effectively.
I leave the Costwolds Distillery feeling positive and full of knowledge about the production process of gin and whiskey. But most of all I am thoroughly impressed with the kindness and professionalism of the tour guides and till manners. This is a wonderful location for those interested in high quality spirits. A great place for a day out with your loved one, the Distillery and the surrounding countryside are breathtaking locations.
A word of warning however: book early!