Avid readers of this blog will remember St Nick’s outrageous review of the beatified Dope Burger restaurant in Hull. This is one of my favourite burger joints in the country if not the world. Their complete deference to healthy eating and non-nauseating decor makes for a thrilling experience. But this experience does not start at the point of entry, oh no. Your first foray into fun will begin by trying to convince your companions to go to such a superficially unattractive place. Personally, I think the garish decoration and questionable area of Hull only serve to keep away the numb-minded and unadventurous among us who prefer nice clean hands to a perspective altering dining experience.
I went for the Olde Amsterdam burger. This consisted of Raclette cheese, Guinness onions, bacon bits, steak pattie, dope sauce, gem lettuce, pickle, tomato, red onion in a toasted brioche bun. I love Dope Burger so much that I willingly and unflinchingly suspended my no beef rule. I put my own desires before the good of the planet for twenty glorious minutes. And they were astounding. The culmination of all these ingredients made for an amalgamation so glorious I almost fell off of my chair.
Louise went for the Smoked Dope burger, consisting of Maple bacon, cheese, steak pattie, dope sauce, gem lettuce, tomato, red onion and pickle in a toasted brioche bun. I will always remember the picture of Louise eating the Smoked Dope burger, seated on a rickety chair over a table made from a barrel, while under a neon sign stating boldly ‘Home off the Smoked Dope’. Between breaths, one could hear Louise’s delighted squeals from miles around and she consumed this burger. ‘The best I’ve ever had’ was music to my ears.
Yet another highlight for me were the BBQ bacon and cheese fries and regular cheesy fries. These were wolfed down with such aplomb that I barely had time to cry with joy. I think the bacon was soaked in their own BBQ sauce for some time before being added to the fries because the flavour was wonderfully suffused. The cheesy fries were equally delicious.
In summation, everything about Dope Burger is wonderful to me. I spend so much of my time in stuffy conventional places where people expect me to act a certain way and not do anything wildly illegal. Coming to Dope Burger and experiencing the wanton creative freedom inside, from decor to dining, is liberating. In Dope Burger, anything goes. They represent everything we are told not to enjoy, all the things mother warned you about when you were a child. Dope Burger is the most delicious rebellion you will ever experience (in Hull at least) and I cannot recommend it enough.