by Cedric | Aug 9, 2019 | Food and Drink
St Peter’s church stands at the end of Marlborough High Street near to Marlborough College, this was also where Cardinal Thomas Wolsey was ordained on the 10th March 1948. Despite having lived in the Marlborough area since I was eight, I have only discovered it now at the age of 20. The cafe itself is contained within a portion of the church, with a separate area also dedicated to crafts and art produced by local artisans.
The traditional layout of the cafe lulls one into a false sense of security. What transpired soon outgrew what is to be expected. The food and hospitality which followed can be described only as exceptional. Cedric and I both opted for breakfast dishes which was apt for the time we’d arrived. Cedric had the full English breakfast, from which the sausages were the stand out (pictured below), but the hand cured bacon was equally as impressive.
I had the vegetarian alternative to a full English (pictured below), which was a perfect example of culinary coherence. Every aspect of the dish meshed successfully with one another. So much so that, unusually, I didn’t feel as though I was missing out on the meat before me.
A sign of a good cafe is their ability to make something as simple as a poached egg phenomenal. This was exactly what St Peter’s Cafe did. Pictured below are poached eggs on toast, which were divine. Oozing with yummy yolk, these gave me a cocky desire to vault the table and quite rub my face deeply within our guest’s plate. Did you notice the subtle chicken pun there? Overlooked it because chickens don’t lay eggs? Either way, this dish was a winner (and a chicken dinner). That was the last one, I promise.
I was mesmerised by the dessert selection. All are handmade, and from what we sampled, delicious. I had scones with clotted cream and lemon curd. What impressed me was the size of the scone, it was massive and is pictured below, I would highly recommend this.
However, Cedric ordered what was for me, the showstopper: (pictured below)the Belgian waffle. Alas this was the only item that wasn’t handmade. It was topped with warm cherry coulis and vanilla ice cream. The combination of all the flavours was quite astonishing, and the contrast between the ice cream and the warmth of the coulis elevated this dessert.
This was not only exceptional food, but the atmosphere in which we dined was unforgettable. If ever you find yourself in Marlborough, St Peter’s Church is the place to visit. It earned the title of number one place to eat in Marlborough on Trip Advisor. But, if you intend to visit around lunchtime be sure to call ahead and make a reservation, or you may not get a seat!
by Cedric | Jul 24, 2019 | Food and Drink, General
Few of you will appreciate what a mammoth task it is to gather six people in one place, even for a simple lunch. Our fabulous meal at PureCraft represented a milestone in organisational hosting, as well as culinary quality. We were a tad pressed for time, having barely made it in time from Mass, so each had a main before jetting off to our next destination, but what we ate certainly fed our desire to return to PureCraft in the near future.
Louise, in her grand and monstrous piety, ordered the waiter to make her a salad, even though none were on the menu. This was a pain, to be frank. Not Louise, one could never accuse her of being painful, until she slaps you. The pain came from Birmingham’s decidedly unhealthy culinary leanings. It was nigh impossible for me to find a restaurant which served a salad and could seat six. All these little instagram-able salad bars are all good and swell for the busy commuter, but not for the decent group of friends who are burdened with the desire for a slimmer frame.
I ordered a wonderful Saddleback sauerkraut beef burger. Now, it has to be said the meat was a bit dry. Maybe the cook was having a bad day. I am always willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. The Russian dressing and sauerkraut (a definitive weakness of mine) combined to make something of a heavenly burger. The brioche bun, too, was a marvel. Not to mention this was very pleasantly filling. Often one’s burger leaves them feeling bloated and queasy. This one made me feel fabulous, which is always a plus.
Two of my esteemed luncheon partners ordered the Sunday Roast, which this week consisted of beef. Cooked beautifully, presented flawlessly and paired with a sizeable Yorkshire, this roast was one for the ages. And don’t even get me started on the red wine gravy. This was truly an amalgam of the best of British and I thoroughly recommend it to you. The cauliflower cheese side was absolutely divine also, its picture is below.
Overall, I would say PureCraft is a distinguished eatery, providing quality food in a terrific location. The price is relatively cheap for the centre of Birmingham and the decor is remarkable. By that I mean remarks can be made about it. It was a bit plain for this reviewer. But every restaurant can’t be Sorrento, after all.
by Cedric | Jul 12, 2019 | Food and Drink, General
I took it upon myself to eat breakfast while in the country. Usually such a meal os a luxury I have neither time nor patience for. A quick cup of tea and jam-garnished slice of toast will satisfy me most days. Luckily, going to Frosts afforded me the opportunity to take a somewhat larger breakfast. It is pictured for your delectation, and as a visual aid to me, below.
The astute among you will note the strange, unappealing, quasi-fecal appearance of the saussies. These were rosemary and red onion saussies, which did not feature on the Saussie Poddy which we did earlier this year. You’re welcome and indeed encouraged to listen to it (the podcast, not the sausage). I found these execrable in honesty. They were already vastly peculiar in concept, but their cooking time left them charred beyond all recognition. I felt like a teething baby once more, unable to get through even the most rudimentary bite of nosh. This was the least pleasant saussie I have eaten in quite some time. Everything else on the plate was palpably unimpressive.
At this juncture, you might be wondering why Frosts is even on Cedric Suggests. Allow me to dispel your overwhelming curiosity. The above picture made me change my mind. Of course, it was not just a picture when I saw it, but a full and delightful plate of the most exquisite yet deeply damaging breakfast. My arteries and yours will not be grateful for this recommendation. I can almost hear their groans of pain. The American combined three perfectly innocent ingredients: bacon, pancakes and maple syrup, into an amalgam of sheer and unadulterated beauty. This melding together of sweet and savoury makes for a distinguished and indeed exceptional plate, whose texture lends itself to descriptions quite beyond my linguistic remit.
For this and this alone, you must go to Millets Farm and try Frosts. The Farm Shop itself boasts in house butchers, confectioners and home grown produce which left me slack jawed, such as the game pie pictured above. I think I have rarely been this close to heaven sober.
by Cedric | Jun 24, 2019 | Food and Drink, General
After what the Smiths call ‘my weekly chat with God’, I am often quite famished. There’s nothing quite so invigorating to a food critic as being able to pick a new place to eat. Once I had completed the relevant due diligence, I chose the Button Factory as the place to eat.
I spend a lot of time in Hockley, for my sins, and I have wondered about this place for some time. Usually, I avoid places where middle aged women drink prosecco at 3pm and talk about things which don’t matter. Thankfully, this Sunday lunch was notably bereft of such utterly forgive-able behaviour.
To kick things off, my roast beef was a thing of beauty. Everything made from scratch and cooked beautifully. Observe how the skin of the carrots is crinkling slightly. This is the sign of slow cooking, which achieves the best results for carrots in the circumstance of a roast dinner. The Yorkshire pudding is clearly homemade. One cannot imagine Mr Sainsbury allowing such a monstrous pud on his shelves. But I am a fan of a deformed pudding and this one was just crunchy enough to pair with the wonderfully braised beef. This was an unquestionably wining dish.
Louise’s roast pork was also extraordinary. Slow cooking pork makes the fat delightfully soft, almost melting into the meat it is attached to. Equally, if you’re on a diet, it is most easy to remove. The neighbouring vegetables were as gorgeous as the ones on my plate. Let it be known that I love both cabbage and parsnips.
Dessert, too, was something to behold. Louise had the special, which was a caramel cheesecake topped with homemade meringue. Sampling this delightful dessert was a privilege. It came together and melted apart like one of Beethoven’s less salacious symphonies.
I recall the lemon curd parfait wasn’t perfect. I thought it a little too acrid for my easily upset palette. Having said that the combination of oats, frozen crumbled raspberries, raspberry jus and lemon curd proved to make a potent cocktail. Many would adore it, this review is too prissy.
Overall, I was astonished most by the waiting in this restaurant. The waitress was so attentive, she’d change our napkins without our even noticing. Every possible whim was catered for. The food was amazing and the location is central with free parking on Sundays. I highly recommend the Button Factory.
by Cedric | Jun 18, 2019 | Food and Drink, General
Before we had to make a run for the border, the gang and I stayed the night in the capital of Montenegro, Podgorica. I’ll admit I did not much enjoy our 12 hours in the city. I found it a tad moribund. This morbidity was a running theme in the less glamorous locations we visited throughout the Balkans. The outskirts of Split were a grim and prescient reminder of the bleak former governance of these countries. Dull grey concrete apartment blocks as far as the eye can see. Such was the case in Podgorica, but Desetka brought some colour back into our evening.
PIZZA DIAVOLO
Pelat, mozzarella, kulen, feferoni
Coming into this vast restaurant, one expects it to be full of jovial Montenegrins, exhausted from a day’s dangerous driving, ready for a revitalising meal. Alas, the place was deserted. Perhaps this is the derivative of the restaurant’s own nomenclature. In any case, the fewer the better when it comes to dining in the Balkans. we were given the star treatment by staff. In fact, I recall that the meal was so cheap, we tipped the waiter enormously. In part because their currency is weak compared to sterling, but also because we were given the gold standard of hosting.
Moving onto the food…
St Nick and I devoured three pizzas between us. The Pizza Desetka and the Diavolo. Both of which were phenomenal. The crust was thin and crispy, the ingredients were fresh and locally sourced, making for some novel flavours. The oil content was not as dramatic as it looks in the cover photo and above photograph. If you still think it too much, and consider yourself to be Moses’ equal in parting seas, there is a solution. When I find myself drowning in pizza grease, I take the napkin and rest it on top of the pizza. Excess oil seeps into the paper by osmosis. You may have to sacrifice a few napkins but this is more justifiable than sacrificing your arteries on the altar of silence. Think on it.
PIZZA DESETKA
Pelat, mozzarella, šunka, kulen, gorgonzola, šampinjoni,
čeri paradajz, masline
ĆEVAPI 350gr Sausage meat, onions, baked potatoes
The Ćevapi doesn’t look like much but it was astounding. This is a traditional Bosnian dish, boasting its origins in the Ottoman Empire. It bears a remarkable similarity to köfte kebabs. I don’t know what they feed their animals in Montenegro, but this dish was loaded with flavours. You must try it if you find yourself in that part of the world.
At the golden waiter’s insistence, we sampled the tiramisu and choco pancake. Both of which were a superb example of culinary excellence. Layered and surprising, but also made tastefully without overdoing any of the essential ingredients. I for one despise it when tiramisu is coated with coffee powder. I expected the choco pancake to be coated in chocolate, some nutella hybrid for example. In fact, they had made a chocolate batter and topped it with fresh cream. I could not believe my eyes or my tastebuds. A true phenomenon.
In summation, Desetka exceeded our every expectation. We had even more food than was mentioned in this post. The Greek feta salad and omelette were great but it is difficult to fail them. And I have bombarded you with quite enough information for one post. I don’t believe the final price exceeded £40, despite our taking three courses each and a copious amount of alcohol. If you find yourself in the capital of Montenegro, for your sins, you must dine here.
by Cedric | Jun 6, 2019 | Food and Drink, General
I’ve been saving this review for a day where I felt particularly irked. Louise tells me I do my best writing while in a state of suffused fury. Well, readers, here I am. Konaba Marinaio was the beginning of the only day of our trip which I would consider a culinary failure. A combination of inept waiting, ghastly food and slow service made for a dreadful meal. Le Routard has never failed me before. I used this wonderful French guidebook throughout my trips in Europe and beyond. Yet, why they recommended this restaurant is quite beyond me. I shall detail our experiences now.
The first sign that our dining experience was going to be questionable came from the waiter, whom I shall dub ‘Clod’. Clod asked us where we were from and we said Birmingham. The counter to this amiable pleasantry came in the form of Clod ejaculating ‘Aston Villa’ and showing us a picture of him in what I can only presume is a football stadium. After this exchange, we asked Clod for some coffee. He then proceeded to say ‘best coffee in Birmingham’ as though he’d forgotten we were in fact in Montenegro. The only conclusion I can make is that his sense of humour extended to replacing ‘Kotor’ with wherever his diners are from.
The alarm bells rung less loudly with the first course. We shared a taglio misto, as is my wont, which was all right. The ensemble wasn’t quite delicious enough to be home made or even locally sourced. I need hardly comment on the freshness of the meat, one n only has to look at the edges of the smoked pork on the left and make their own conclusions. The cheese was fine, the lettuce was shop-bought. This starter was all right, but nothing special. Take care to look at the chorizo on the right.
I ordered the chorizo sandwich, expecting something wonderful. Alack, This was just the starter on a piece of bread. The bread, again clearly shop bought, had a spattering of mustard on the bottom and was topped with the same ingredients we were served on our starter. Some vegetables adorned this sorry looking sandwich.
Best Coffee in Birmingham. Clod
We ordered a bottle of wine, not knowing how much we would need it, before we ordered the coffee. At first, Clod did not understand that we wanted a full bottle. Perhaps it was the extent of his English or that nobody had ordered a full bottle in his limited memory span. 20 minutes after we ordered the wine, it arrived and is pictured below. You might be able to spot a bit of red material above the cord. Clod has ripped up a red paper napkin and tied it around the neck of the bottle. Clod presumably left the cord to prove to us this was a quality wine. He failed.
In another bizarre turn, Clod was mid conversation with Louise about something (probably Keats) when he shot off to the other end of the restaurant. A couple had arrived and sat down, which Clod must have thought merited dropping Louise mid Keatsian sentence. He scuttled back past our table to tend to their needs and apologised mumbling “sorry very busy”. there were a total of seven diners in the entire restaurant.
The final nail in Clod’s incompetent coffin was when the bill arrived. He had written 10% in blue pen on the bottom and charged us a surplus. I suspect now, in retrospect, that this was a service charge, which is perfectly fine. But when we asked him about it, he said it was a tip. “Everybody tips”, Clod protested. Given his completely dreadful behaviour and unthinkably awful waiting skills, we were not prepared to give him any more money than we owed. Then Clod did some awful maths and took what I calculated to be 3% off of the bill, not the 10% he had brutishly added. Thankfully, this was a cheap lunch.
Peculiarly, when I walked past the restaurant the next day, on my way back to the car with the gang, Clod pointed at my jacket from across the street and said, loudly “Goooood”. I think mortified doesn’t cover how I felt.
Needless to say, I left this restaurant frustrated, hungry and vexed. I could not leave drunk as I was driving shortly afterwards, though I suspect this sensible measure is not observed by many Montenegrin drivers. The amalgam of incompetence highlighted everything a restaurant should not do. Customers at any dining establishment are to be treated with respect and courtesy. This is a mutual duty which the diner must impose on himself when addressing the staff. Catering is a difficult job and waiters ought to be respected and espouse respect. What I witnessed at Marinaio was nothing short of a travesty. Do not eat here if you value your opinion of casual dining.
