by Nicholas Jenkins | Feb 23, 2019 | Food and Drink, General
Do not go to Milton Keynes. As far as you can steer clear. Avoid it with all the tenacity and ingenuity you have at your disposable. But if you find it impossible to avoid a visit to this dreadful drive-through city, you can do no better than to lunch at the charming Bogota Coffee Company.
The other week I found myself stuck in this monstrous made-up metropole and I will not shy away from confiding in you that it had a significant and deleterious effect on my soul. I am still undecided which Keynes I despise more, John Maynard or Milton. But my distaste for deficit spending and central banks aside, I can assure you that entering the realm of M.K. was like staring upon the vast, bleak, godless face of the modern world without respite.
As such, I was in need of a good buckaroo. Cedric, the chap to turn in these situations, was happy to suggest an excellent establishment for such purposes: the Bogota Coffee Company. Bogota, as you well know dear reader, is the capital of Colombia, but much to my surprise there was a distinct lack of cocaine. In actual fact what I found was a charming café, with friendly staff and free wifi.
I ordered a pot of tea and a pastrami, mustard and cheese sandwich. I feel that Cedric probably expects me at this point to discuss the food in greater detail. Unfortunately, I believe I am constitutionally incapable of describing food. Of course, you would think this was a prerequisite for a food reviewer, and no doubt you would be right. But having tasted the food, digested it, and followed the usual concluding procedures, I find myself unable to apply adequate adjectives to the experience. All I can say is that it was very nice. The milk came in a small glass replicating old-fashioned milk bottles, which was a pleasant surprise.
I suppose every putrefying place must have its saving grace. No doubt within the bustling and heaving streets of decadent Babylon there was a Bogota café. A piece of calm in a world fleeing internal repose.
by Cedric | Feb 17, 2019 | Food and Drink, General
How now, what luck that I should be able to bully St Nick out of his routine Friday luncheon restaurant. Once he accepted that we simply could not go to Coffee Tales for yet another all day breakfast, the real fun began.
Just two doors down from Coffee Tales is a true hidden gem. 24 Carat Bistro is a Anglo-Caribbean restaurant. To be clear, they do not offer a ghastly fusion of English and Caribbean food. Au contraire, they offer both or neither, depending on your desires.
Our starter for ten were the jerk chicken wings. For me they were quite lovely. They were not the star of the show but provided an excellent flexing of 24 Carat Bistro’s culinary muscles. Nonetheless, they were thoroughly enjoyable and the sauce tasted phenomenal.
Curry goat & rice
A West Indian favourite with generous chunks of tender goat meat infused with garlic, peppers & onions, together with a few secret ingredients.
That being said, the real showstoppers were the mains. I ordered the curry goat and rice. What a rare treat! The last time I had goat was in the middle of Selous Safari Park in Tanzania. I remember it arriving seated upright on the back of a motorbike. Then, they killed it right in front of me! This curry was a close second in terms of flavour. Excellent throughout.
Braised Oxtail
Juicy oxtail pieces slowly cooked with thyme, our secret herb blend, and garlic. And simmered till it’s literally falling off the bone delicious!
Nick, in his infinite wisdom, opted for the braised oxtail. This was a showstopper if ever I saw one. Truly stupendous, it burst with more flavours than this humble reviewer can describe. The dish, as well as the dumplings which accompanied it, were a force with which to be reckoned.
Dessert, too, was a spectacle. The victoria sponge rolly polly with jam and custard transported me right back to year 4. I was new to England and amazed at the peculiar dishes which the British considered food. I grew accustomed to the soggy mess of a dessert and in the end was quite fond of it. I had not eaten this for almost ten years. But goodness me was I glad to tuck in once more.
A few closing remarks ought to be made. This fits the bill for my most excellent restaurant guide. 24 Carat Bistro is family-run. It is secluded and has fewer than 15 tables. Ergo, it fits all my criteria for a sterling eatery. The service is unquestionably brilliant. We were treated like cherished friends throughout the six hours we stayed. That is deeply important in any eatery.
If you need waking up but also feel a little feline and feminine, ask for a Rum coffee. Their selection of excellent rums is striking. Combining this with a coffee made for a delightful cherry on top of the impressive cake that is 24 Carat Bistro. I recommend it most thoroughly.
by Cedric | Feb 8, 2019 | Food and Drink, General
Once you’re all over the simple yet majestic rhyme in the headline, allow me to command your attention for a moment. Raphael’s is another restaurant that I had the joy of attending some time ago but failed to blog about. For whatever vapid reason, I did not write about this spectacular Greek. But now, I shall remedy my heinous wrong by providing some insight into the plethora of perfection which awaits you within.
Louise and I had just attended Mass. Now generally, a replenished spirit does not often translate into a full stomach. Starved and impatient, we elected to eat in Sutton Coldfield, a mere 20 minute drive from Harborne. The benefit of Raphael’s, in addition to the astounding quality and flavour of the food, is that it is situated practically in Erdington, making it much easier to access than Sutton proper.
The above picture is the halloumi we ordered as a starter. I fid it hard to believe that a person can go through life and not experience this miraculous cheese. Raphaels’ halloumi was delightful and just the right amount of nosh to stave off our hunger.
The real Greek sandwich! Fluffy pitta bread filled with your choice of chargrilled meat or filling with Greek coleslaw, fresh parsley, red onions, tomatoes and creamy tzatziki served with our amazing chips.
Next came my chicken souvlakia kebab. This was cooked in a white wine & oregano marinade. I love nothing more than unpretentious presentation. The chicken kebab is the epitome of subtle brilliance. Behind this facile presentation lay a formidable kebab. Flavours abounded from all places, making it an utterly filling and delightful dish.
Chargrilled pork with caramelised red onions in a red wine, oregano & garlic marinade.
Louise’s pork souvlaki was arresting in its brilliance. I’m seldom jealous of other people’s dinner choices. I am often the one to pick the best dish. But Louise, in her plentiful wisdom, defeated me. The pork kebab was almost too delicious.
Last time I was here, I ate the falafel wrap which was masterfully tasty. In all I am as impressed with Raphael’s as ever. This is a quality and great value eatery which will provide you with a full stomach for the rest of the day. Next time you’re hungry in or for Sutton Coldfield, do not hesitate to visit Raphael’s!
by Nicholas Jenkins | Jan 27, 2019 | Food and Drink, General
Dear readers,
Fate is an interesting thing. At times we cannot avoid its indomitable sway. Resistance in these circumstances is totally futile. One must simply accept the overwhelming forces of destiny. AMOR FATI.
And so the fates had contrived to place me in, of all locations, Hull and in search of food. Cedric’s colossal conk, always primed and ready to sniff out the very best eateries, was true to form, and had already hunted down a suitable solution to suggest.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, I do not wish to suggest an air of superiority, but when I discovered the name of the place in question was “Dope Burger”, I must say I did have my doubts. But Cedric insisted that this was a place he held in highest esteem. And when a man with a proboscis quite as impressively large as Cedric’s insists, one is wise to follow.
When I finally showed up at the old locale I must say my doubts only deepened. The place was windowless. I think that windows are a useful addition to buildings. They provide air and light. When they are absent, these qualities are also absent. I would conjecture, and I dare say the more archaeologically astute of Cedric’s readers will confirm, that windows are probably as old as buildings themselves. They go together like ham and eggs; love and poetry. So this was not a good start.
Furthermore, the walls were graffitied with grotesque creatures. Why? Does this enhance the food? Is it designed to create an appealing atmosphere? Is it meant to be amusing perhaps? I cannot say that I was amused. But then I must remember that all these things are a matter of taste. It could be that many of Cedric’s readers are sorts of people who enjoy eating in a windowless shack on the edge of Hull, surrounded by sinister looking spectres. Or if all else fails there is the option of takeaway.
Anyway, onto the food. This was excellent. I ordered a cheeseburger with fries. The fries were well salted and coated in a light dusting of paprika. Very good, this was definitely compensating for the hideous hideout on the edge of outer darkness that I found myself in. The Cheeseburger was very good as well. The meat was succulent and the cheese was oosingly satisfying.
In the end it was a tale of two experiences. In terms of the environs I was horrified, in terms of the food delighted. Perhaps, dear reader, you will tell a different tale, should you visit.
by Cedric | Jan 24, 2019 | Food and Drink, General
As has become our habit, Louise and I went out for Sunday Lunch after Mass last week. Being a dame of great discernment and grace, one can but choose the finest establishments at which to dine, while in her company. Hence, the week before last, we ate at The Bell Inn, Welford. Elated from our devastatingly delicious fare, I decided to take us to the next Bell, this time in the idyllic village of Tanworth-in-Arden.
For this reviewer at least, and indeed at most, Tanworth is the apex of quaint old England. This is where I aspire to live. Louise described it, in her inimitable fashion, as “rather bijoux”. And she isn’t wrong.
Onto luncheon. The food here is unspeakably good. Both Louise and I were left in a state of utter disarray. For starters, I had the porc terrine. There was no porc on either traditional or slow roast menu. So I had to have some for a starter. It is pictured below. What a treat it was. Really wonderfully layered flavours. The butter was superb as well, this is often an overlooked part of one’s meal. 
Louise opted for the cauliflower soup. I had a loud sip and must say, her taste in friends is as exquisite as her taste in starters. Truly a lesson is to be learned on subtlety of flavours. One can often tell when food is made from scratch. This was one such dish. See it below. 
Onto the traditional Sunday Lunch. I’ve attached the menu options just below for your perusal. I went for the beef, whereas Louise went for the Lamb.
Let me tell you, the Bell in Tanworth absolutely knows how to make a Sunday lunch. They smashed it out of the park so sensationally that we were left reeling. Such majestic infusions of traditional flavours are seldom achieved. The stuffing in the Welsh Lamb was just breathtaking. The gravy combined with my beef just made me slump back in my seat and contemplate the joy of being alive.
What a time to be alive and sentient. But the meal was not over yet. Somehow I decided I wanted more. I could but muster the courage to eat one dessert. But what a dessert it was. I tried the raspberry cheesecake. Just flabbergasting. Light and yet wholesome. It is pictured below.
Overall I cannot do anything except recommend the Bell Tanworth with all my might. I’ve seldom eaten out better, or in such a place. The staff were so attentive and professional, Amy especially. I was shocked at how well we were looked after. We left on a cloud. Everything was peaches and cream. Louise and I could not shake the feeling that our lives were materially improved for eating here. I hope yours shall also.
by Nicholas Jenkins | Jan 21, 2019 | Food and Drink, General
Dear loyal reader,
Interested observers often ask me what it is like being friends with Cedric Conboy. To this I can only reply, with the utmost respect, that it is a wild ride. Not only do I now find myself charged with the task of writing a guest restaurant review, but I am also scheduled to participate in a podcast on Graham Greene’s novel ‘the Power and the Glory”. Two things I would never have expected to be doing before I met the proprietor of this charming weblog.
Now Cedric, as the title of the blog implies, is full of suggestions, many of them outstanding. So, when I found myself in Solihull in need of a bite to eat, I wasn’t surprised to find Cedric popping up on the old Whatsapp, simply brimming with marvellous ideas. The place I eventually decided upon, having received a good dose of wisdom from the oracle, was the Beech House on the Warwick Road. A fine establishment if ever I saw one.
But first dear reader, if you would permit a sentimental aside, Solihull is a very dear place to me. You see, this was the part of the world, where my grandparents decided to settle down and raise their three children. My grandpa has recently passed away, but although his body has left this place, his memory remains. Solihull will forever stand for me as a reminder of the decent, kind and gentle man who for many years called this his home.
Now onto the drink and grub. I think it is fair to say, knowing him as well as we do, that although many accolades and praises can be levied at the door of Cedric Conboy, it would be a step too far to describe him as a real ale man. No, I imagine, if he were to find himself sat down in the pleasant and polished environ of the Beech House, he would order something decidedly fruitier. This being my time to shine, I decided to order a pint of Mad Goose. A champion beer.
For the main course, I ordered the salmon, which came with new potatoes, broccoli and a delicious lemon sauce. Excellent stuff, and if I had the descriptive abilities of Cedric, I might be able to do it some justice, but alas I am lost for words. Suffice to say, it was all cooked to my liking. For a desert I opted for the cheese course. This came with three cheeses: a cheddar, a stilton and a goat’s cheese, as well as red onion marmalade, biscuits, two slices of bread, grapes and celery. I have but two complaints. Firstly, the slices of bread were too large and secondly there was no butter. We seem to have become as a nation embarrassed by butter at least as far as restaurants are concerned. Perhaps we consider ourselves too good for it. This I think it is fair to say is an iniquitous practice matched only by the antics of Sodom and Gomorra.
Finally, I have been commissioned to give some introduction to the atmosphere at this charming spot. It was not what I would call heaving. No in fact, to be precise, in the place at that time there were seven other people. Still, this is most likely due to the time I chose to attend: a weekday luncheon. The staff were courteous and attentive. I enjoyed the setting, and the kitchen was open-planned so I could observe the cooks’ work. Furthermore, I enjoyed having a peek at the wood-fired oven (installed for the pizza). The napkins were a particular highlight. All in all, a splendid place to spend one’s hard-earned dough.
