Let’s be honest here – this is not the most glamorous cafe, best placed or best kept cafe in Birmingham. However, and this cannot be said for many establishments, it is down to Earth. While other restaurants plaster the walls garish colours and throw avocados at you as if you were trying to pole-vault the Welsh border, Reservoir Cafe remains originally humble. In the dejection of this forgotten corner of Edgbaston, Reservoir Cafe stands as a bastion of common sense and straightforward food.
My colleagues and I had the chance to go for our yearly bi-annual Wellbeing Committee Walking Group luncheon. We ordered in advance and everything arrived at the table in excellent time. We all took tea and an ample helping of milk. So ample in fact that the rest of the place had to do without before we realised we had pinched the entire place’s milk jug!
I digress. The above photograph depicts the gorgeous club sandwich I ordered. This was filled with chicken, fresh vegetables and a lovely sauce. Forgive me for not going into detail – this was a month ago and my memory is foggy at the best of times. I remember it being really filling.
The colleague to my right had a chicken, tomato and bacon sandwich which I am told was quite divine, above is its photograph, taken in the macro style.
Let me distance myself from the food for a moment and talk about the style of the building. This must have been an hotel at some point in the past. The architecture would have been gorgeous. The windows are high and let in much sunlight (if any is available in this country). There is delightful wrought ironwork on the spiral staircase leading downstairs. The wood panelling backing the restaurant was also well preserved and helped give a quasi- ornate feel to the cafe.
Overall, this cafe makes good food at a good price in a good location. You know exactly what you’re getting and you know it won’t cost you. Seven of us ate and drank for a combined total of £30, which I found was extraordinary. This is the Edgbaston cafe to go to if you’re in the mood for something delightful and dependable.
Despite stubborn popular opinion, Hull has a lot to recommend it. There are an array of theatres, marvellous cultural sites as well as it being the home of formerly alive poet Philip Larkin. But at the heart of Hull is also the Ferens Art Gallery. This is home to some impressive paintings and some nauseating modern art. Below are my highlights from this gallery.
Philipe de Champaigne – The Annunciation ca. 1644
This picture was painted for the private chapel of Queen Anne of Austria (1601–1666), the widowed wife of Louis XIII. The chapel, a small oval room in the Palais Royal, Paris, was decorated by the most prominent French painters of the day. Met Museum
The Annunciation refers to the announcement by the angel Gabriel to the Virgin Mary that she would conceive a son by the power of the Holy Spirit to be called Jesus (Luke 1:26–38). This is a particularly fine representation of this momentous and emotive event in the Christian Faith. Observe the Virgin Mary’s humility here. Observe the beauteous righteousness of the angel Gabriel. The fabric really took my eye as well. The way that the light is reflected from the heavens opening, how it falls more evenly on Gabriel is wonderful. I also love the cherubs fighting to get a look at the event. This is a really impressive painting.
Crijn Hendricksz. Volmarijn (c.1604–1645) – The Supper at Emmaus ca 1632
I was surprised to find another Catholic piece in my highlights. Perhaps I am becoming more holy. This 1632 piece by Crijn Hendricksz may be seen as an attempt to hold a candle to the famous painting of the same name by Caravaggio produced in 1601. I’ll focus on this one for now, if that is all right. The painting depicts the moment when the resurrected but incognito Jesus, reveals himself to two of his disciples (presumed to be Luke and Cleopas) in the town of Emmaus, only to soon vanish from their sight (Gospel of Luke 24: 30–31).
As you may have seen from my Highlights of the Mauritshuis post, I am a sucker for candles represented in paintings. I love the way that Hendricksz has depicted the light on Jesus’ face in particular. I also appreciate the pseudo iconographical breaking of the bread here. Observe the elegance of their fingers and how the light is reflected in their nails. Observe the stigmata on Christ’s hand. Observe the delicacy of the wrinkled brow. I’m really impressed by this.
John Hoppner (1758–1810) – Anna Isabella Milbanke (1792–1860) (later Lady Byron)
Moving away from Christ, Hoppner’s delicate portrait of Anna Isabelle Milbanke also struck me. Anne Isabella Noel Byron was the 11th Baroness Wentworth and known as Baroness Byron. She was born Milbanke and loved between 17 May 1792 – 16 May 1860. Milbanke was highly educated and religious, perhaps known in part for her marriage to Lord Byron, a famous English poet. She described him to her mother as “a very bad, very good man”.
But you don’t want to hear about their marriage in Seaham, near Durham, or the fact that I have eaten at Downey’s Fish & Chips and so too should you. No you want to hear about the vicissitudes of this painting. And who can blame you? While the rendering of this portrait is not as sharp as the latter two, I should say it is of great merit. The first aspect of note for me is the tule of the dress. The crashing of the waves in the background and small boat in the distance are delightful. However, the true highlight of this piece is facial finesse depicted. The expression is solemn, almost glum (perhaps Lady Byron is cold in the sea air). I think this portrait is quite marvellous.
Spencer Tunick – Sea of Hull 2017
From Catholicism to nudity, I am happy to say my final highlight is the Sea of Hull. This was a piece commissioned for an installation at the Ferens Gallery to celebrate Hull’s relationship to the sea. Interestingly, the photo shoot itself took three hours and the volunteers depicted were ushered around Hull by aptly names ‘nude wranglers’. One has to immediately admire the commitment of these blue people. Hull is rather far North and is a sea town, which means howling coastal gales. The fact that Spencer Tunick convinced 3200 people to go out, sans-kecks, is deeply impressive.
Moving onto the composition of this photograph, one can see the different hues of blue are used cleverly to give the impression of motion. These four shades were taken from the Ferens Gallery itself. Looking at the photograph, I was amazed at its sheer scale. Thousands of people painted themselves one colour and gathered together as one sea. The inference of unity, resolve and strength shown here is clear. To me, this is a unique piece, bravely conceived and flawlessly excecuted.
Stéphane Janssen, one of the volunteers, said of the piece: “I always say that it’s the least sexual thing that I’ve ever seen in my life. We are naked, but it is not important. We are equal. Big people, small people, all colours, all walks of life. Guardian“.
Please do visit the Ferens if you’re in the area. I assure you it is rewarding, even if it is in Hull.
Nanette is at its core a discourse on comedy. That is not to say it is an academic manual, but more a careful dissection of the art form. Beginning as a traditional comedy show, Hannah Gadsby tells tale of her youth as a queer person in Tasmania, a country where homosexuality was illegal until 1997. Even then, the decriminalising only passed the Tasmania Legislative Council by one vote. Gadsby jokes that this is far too recent. She is right. As the show wears on, we are privy to Gadsby’s signature dry self depreciation which made her a star in Australia. Tales of her moving to more progressive Australia, the trials of being Lesbian but not ‘brightly feathered’ (as Jim Morrison put it) and some of the more disquieting consequences of being queer.
It was on a visit to her sister in Adelaide in 2006 when Gadsby entered Raw Comedy in 2006, progressing through the heats to win the national prize. As the winner, she was sent to the So You Think You’re Funny competition at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, where she won second prize. From that point on, she performed numerous stand-up shows at festivals around Australia, such as the Adelaide Fringe, Melbourne International Comedy Festival and Sydney Comedy Festival. Wikipedia
But what really makes Nanette stand out is the social commentary it espouses. Usually in stand-up comedy, this is hinted at in succinct anecdotes or throw away remarks (à la Quentin Crisp). Hannah Gadsby dedicated the latter portion of her Netflix special directly addressing several pervasive and uncomfortable issues within the queer community, Fine Art and comedy as a whole. This is at once harrowing, deeply saddening and undeniable.
Netflix’s advertisement for this programme states “behind every joke, there is a story”. Nobody encapsulates this more frankly than Hannah Gadsby. Watching Nanette was nothing short of a revelatory emotional rollercoaster. I challenge you not to be moved.
Avid readers of this blog will remember St Nick’s outrageous review of the beatified Dope Burger restaurant in Hull. This is one of my favourite burger joints in the country if not the world. Their complete deference to healthy eating and non-nauseating decor makes for a thrilling experience. But this experience does not start at the point of entry, oh no. Your first foray into fun will begin by trying to convince your companions to go to such a superficially unattractive place. Personally, I think the garish decoration and questionable area of Hull only serve to keep away the numb-minded and unadventurous among us who prefer nice clean hands to a perspective altering dining experience.
I went for the Olde Amsterdam burger. This consisted of Raclette cheese, Guinness onions, bacon bits, steak pattie, dope sauce, gem lettuce, pickle, tomato, red onion in a toasted brioche bun. I love Dope Burger so much that I willingly and unflinchingly suspended my no beef rule. I put my own desires before the good of the planet for twenty glorious minutes. And they were astounding. The culmination of all these ingredients made for an amalgamation so glorious I almost fell off of my chair.
Louise went for the Smoked Dope burger, consisting of Maple bacon, cheese, steak pattie, dope sauce, gem lettuce, tomato, red onion and pickle in a toasted brioche bun. I will always remember the picture of Louise eating the Smoked Dope burger, seated on a rickety chair over a table made from a barrel, while under a neon sign stating boldly ‘Home off the Smoked Dope’. Between breaths, one could hear Louise’s delighted squeals from miles around and she consumed this burger. ‘The best I’ve ever had’ was music to my ears.
Yet another highlight for me were the BBQ bacon and cheese fries and regular cheesy fries. These were wolfed down with such aplomb that I barely had time to cry with joy. I think the bacon was soaked in their own BBQ sauce for some time before being added to the fries because the flavour was wonderfully suffused. The cheesy fries were equally delicious.
In summation, everything about Dope Burger is wonderful to me. I spend so much of my time in stuffy conventional places where people expect me to act a certain way and not do anything wildly illegal. Coming to Dope Burger and experiencing the wanton creative freedom inside, from decor to dining, is liberating. In Dope Burger, anything goes. They represent everything we are told not to enjoy, all the things mother warned you about when you were a child. Dope Burger is the most delicious rebellion you will ever experience (in Hull at least) and I cannot recommend it enough.
I must apologise in advance, there is a swear in this poem. If you can bear such a departure from decorum, do go ahead and read. I wrote this poem when I was particularly piqued.
Do enjoy Big Men with Small Feet, which I hope to feature in an upcoming anthology of my least worst work.
The splendid cover photo is from the Museo Archeologico Nazionale di Sperlonga. The Cyclops Polyphemos and Odysseus is an epoxy resin reconstruction of of Polyphemus’ Group. I do recommend the museum to you if you haven’t been.
For my sins, I have made it to Hull for a weekend. Ahead of indulging in the wonderful Larkin Trail and dining at Dope Burger, one of my favourite burger haunts in the country, I thought I would feast on Fish & Chips. Doing so in a coastal town is often a safe bet. Almost everyone in the country knows the famous Magpie fish & chips restaurant in Scarborough. I’ve never been patient enough to brave the queue but I am told it’s splendid.
Now, Papa’s was centrally located, with a view of the Prince’s Quay, one of Hull’s premium shopping centres. Naturally I abhor commercialism and try to avoid such places at all costs while frequenting Amazon with abandon, like any middle class hypocrite. We got the best table of the house, though being seated near a single glazed window in January in ‘The North’ is seldom recommended.
Being allergic to any mention of fish, I opted for the double battered saussie and chips. This came with a homemade gravy and ticked all the boxes. The sausage itself was lengthy, coated in batter made on site. They use a top secret recipe which they would not tell me at all. The chips were wonderfully cooked, though they did burn my mouth so I’d advise caution when consuming them.
Louise went for the famed Hull Pattie. For one reason or another I had never tried this. I have no frame of reference for whether this is the best in town but I found it absolutely stunning. These savoury patties are battered and deep fried mashed potato, seasoned with sage. This one was moist and well packed, adding to the joy in consuming it. The mushy peas were clearly made on site.
Nick and his festive jumper tried out the fish and chips. Having a fair portion of chips on my own plate, I only went for the fish. St Nick tells me the batter was the highlight in this matter; though this was by far the best and most upmarket place to sit down for fish and chips in town, the fish itself was not spectacular. I understand it is delivered freshly each morning. The fish not being to our exacting tastes does not detract from the overall merit of this restaurant.
The crowning glory of this dinner was the Lotus Biscoff Sundae. Deliciously layered and spectacularly presented. We were very happy to begin our Hull sojourn in this place and look forward to returning before long.
